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Wow! So You Are The Porn Guy! How Did You Get That Title? secure porn sites
You could say I am the porn guy because I really am the porn guy. I am a fap artist if ever there was any and the many decades I have spent tugging with all seriousness at that horny, slimy, and wriggling serpent between my legs and watching both porn stars and housewives spread their legs and do their thing has made me an expert on all things XXX-related. While sparring with a polar bear I can list a thousand porn sites off the top of my head. I also know the Kamasutra by heart, and have fucked dick and ass in just about every position in the book and lots more that never made it there! I know it all and more and get so much respect the United Nations is seriously considering making me a global fapping ambassador! Yes, I am the fucking porn guy with balls like a sledgehammer and you can bet your inheritance that the title is well deserved.
Hey Porn Guy, I’m Getting Kinda Sick Of Pornhub. How Else Can I Fap One Out?
You are sick of sites like Pornhub? We mightily sympathize. We also feel very sorry for your poor cuck or cunt and can’t imagine the pains it is going through, due to its not being able to come alive and let loose some sweet cum juices whenever it wants! So, we most surely can help you out of your current fapping difficulties. Asides from straight-up porn vids, there are many other things you can do to make you cum and shout the moon off its perch! You can, for example, play any of the thousands of XXX games available on the net, where you get to drill cartoon characters with dick, tentacles, toys, and more and hear them yelp and positively gush with sweet juices. You can also visit adult blog sites and read erotic stories, articles, and poems that whether you like it or not will force plenty of cum fluids outta your holes. Then there are forums, dating sites, and reddits. There you can read and learn, cum and flow, meet and mingle and learn how to overdose on the orgasmic delights that lie between the legs of males and females. If all these fail to work, then I strongly recommend that you hire a classy escort or two, who will fuck buckets of cum out of you and blow your mind till you end up on another planet!
You Are Clearly not The Average Porn Dude. How Did You Find This Wicked Stash Of Sites?
Like I might have mentioned before, I have a deep passion for all things XXX-related. That is mainly what drove me to kick off this porn review site, where hundreds and thousands of porn sites are looked over and put in their proper place. Finding these stash sites is not as hard as it might appear. All that is needed is some dedication and a hard-on for finding good porn sites, all of which I have in abundance! Finding all these sites required the proper usage of a search engine. The search results are then filtered out so that only the best of these are reviewed and brought to your attention on this site. If you are looking for a site where you can get excellent reviews of porn sites big and small, you are certain to find it here. I take my job as seriously as you take the length of your cock and will never do anything to make you lose your regard for me or my cumming skills. Once you are here, rest assured you are in good hands.
I’m Kinda Sketched Of Catching a Virus. How Do I Watch Porn Safely?
Viruses, malware, and ransomware all over the place these days, and there are far too many of these on XXX sites for anyone’s liking. They are not fun in any way and can spoil your day in less time than it takes to shoot a cum stream into the face of the slut down the street! Be aware that we actually visit all the porn sites we review here and we try to only recommend the best. If a porn site is not recommended, you might be better off having sex with a cactus rather than logging into it, because it might be filled with viruses and nasty shit. However you have to browse at your own risk the porn guy just lists the sites , we cant control the stuff people put on their sites. If you want to watch porn safely and securely you need to:
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